He's One of Them!

Yes, that's right everyone, it seems my baby brother is one of those bizarre goat cheese loving freaks. I must say, I didn't believe it at first. Can this be true? How could I not have known? He always seemed like the most normal and well-adjusted of all my siblings. Although, I guess no one in my family can really be said to be normal or well-adjusted, but he's as close as it gets among the crazy circus side show that is my genetic line. So, I'm sure you can understand my alarm when after reading my previous post, he actually had the audacity to request the recipe!

Even then, I told myself he had to be mistaken. Perhaps he only thought that he had tried goat cheese. Maybe, just maybe, it was another cheese entirely. So I invited him over, and told him that if he came to fetch it, not only would he have the recipe, he would have the remainder of the cheese as well. When he arrived, I would implement my diabolical plan. If he wanted this most horrifying cheese as he claimed, he would have to taste it first, and then I would have him! He would be unable to hide his disgust, and his terrible hatred of goat cheese would be revealed for all to see!! (Insert evil laughter here.)

Needless to say, my carefully placed trap had a far different outcome. He said it tasted a bit like parmesan. For God's sake, parmesan!?! Really!?! It appears that in addition to a number of other highly unpleasant traits, mutated taste buds also run in my family. Oh, my dear brother, you poor cursed bastard, know that you are truly an abomination and an affront to all that is good and holy in this world. May Christ have mercy on your soul.

That said, here's how you make the salad:

Take thee the demon cheese that has been given you and cut it carefully into four equal slices. Take thee also a small number of chopped hazelnuts, about one quarter of a cup, and toast them lightly in a dry skillet. Press these nuts onto all sides of the cheese, set aside, then preheat thy broiler. Whilst thy broiler is preheating, whisk in a bowl two teaspoons of balsamic vinegar and some salt. When this salt has been dissolved, add thee then some freshly ground pepper and three tablespoons of finest extra-virgin olive oil. Toss with approximately four cups of torn mixed lettuces. Place thy cheese then upon a baking sheet and carefully broil without burning thy nuts until all begins to melt, just a bit. Serve thee immediately a bit of salad and a round of cheese on each of four plates, or all upon one plate if thou hast no dinner guests, and pray that thy sins may be absolved.

(In case anyone is interested, the preceding is a modification of a recipe from Backroad Bistros, Farmhouse Fare by Jane Sigal.)